Hard Gifts to Give Thanks For

I almost hate to mention this again but after a huge meltdown and a breakthrough Saturday morning I feel it is imperative for me to keep verbalizing the gift of my job.  I will go ahead and share what happened ….a testimony to eucharasteo!  I was gritting my teeth convincing myself over and over of the beautiful things in my life.

As I sat in a public place with tears streaming down my face, I truly started seeking the Lord to intervene.  Usually my interpretation of the Lord helping me is when I think I need to assist him and do what I think is best.  Silly me. Not that morning.  If I don’t seek my own ways, I reach out to others.  Also a fail at times.  I texted my sweet friend who is on this JOY DARE journey with me.

Me:  “Friend, I am struggling this morning!  I need scripture!!!!  Help!  So much guilt about working.  Not sure what the Lord is telling me. I am sitting here watching Pumpkin get her nails done.  On Bible gateway searching.  Searching……”

Friend:  “And God is able to make all grace abound so that in all things at all times having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.”

Me:  ” I am sitting here in the spa trying.  Crying.  Trying.  Crying.  I can’t turn it off!”

Friend:  “Oh, honey..it is ok.  Jesus loves you and is right with you in this.”

Me:  “Poor oriental ladies don’t know what to do with me.”

At this point the sweet ladies at the spa handed me a large roll of paper towels and tried to inquire about my tears.  I laughed with tears streaming down my face.

Conversation via text continues…

Me:  “Today’s prompt is gifts of green but I am thinking that is not working for me today. ”

So the list began.

178.  The growing blonde girl with her lady like hands under the drying lamp.

179.  Sweet friendship of thirteen year olds

180.  The sweet oriental ladies handing off a super sized roll of paper towels to wipe away my dinosaur tears.

181.  the daughter’s smile as she has her growing hands pampered

Friend:  “LOL!  Just like God’s grace, girlie!  Big enough to cover all my tears and fears!”

182.  Nana taking Little Miss to Starbucks and shopping to purchase two birthday gifts.

183.  photo of Pumpkin showing off her shiny red nails…GIFT!  GIFT!  GIFT!

Friend:  “Beautiful!  Keep counting….”

184.  Sweet husband who loves me

185.  Coffee

186.  New spa in Sunnyvale

Friend: ” yes…yes…yes! ”

“Gifts-freshly round hazelnut coffee with cinnamon and cream!  🙂 ”

“Gifts-dark chocolate rolled wafers to go with that coffee..forget dinner, this is delish! ”

Pumpkin and friend finish their nails drying.  Pumpkin leans over and kisses my forehead.  “Thank you, momma!”

Tears drying.  I kiss her in return.

The three of us walk into the daylight.  The girls admire their nails and chit chat about girly things.

I breathe long and hard.  I glance over at my oldest daughter, overwhelmed with the gift of being her mom.

As we drive off, conversation of make-up pops up and we head to Target.

Grace.  Grace.  Grace.

Nothing is solved.  I drive on trusting that answers will come, maybe not my way but HIS way.

Joy has arrived!

Now back to the original Joy prompt….

1.  being a working mom

2.  working out tough situations through dinosaur tears

3.  shifting from being a teacher to spending the entire summer cooking for 120 people a night in Africa

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