#641

#641 of the Joy Dare has been out there lost, waiting to be discovered.  #641 has been there all along, longing to scream out to the world of God’s goodness.  The recipient of gift #641 has not been longing.  The longing disappeared and the void grew by leaps and bounds.

Why does one allow the void to expand and the thankfulness to slip away? How does it happen?  How have I, one on the Joy Dare Journey, just stop, halting  the goodness that accompanies eucharesteo?

As I finished typing that last sentence, the word eucharesteo yelled at me, demanding me to grasp what I have longed to admit.

I missed it.

But I knew it.

I was blinded.

All along as I read, studied, and even facilitated a Bible Study on One Thousand Gifts, I had a bit of pride sitting on one shoulder convincing me, “You got this!  You have soooo much good in your life.”

Well, good indeed!

Duh!  I know the good easily extracts thanksgiving.

The bad?  The ugly?

Not so much.

For me, my recent journey has not inherently been bad.  The root of my sadness and bitterness has somehow formed from the blessings in my life.

Doesn’t make sense!

It does in a weird sort of way…

The blessings are there!  I just don’t see them as such.

Instead of honing in on the giver of my gifts, I have chosen to zoom in on the ones that I have not expected.

Expectations do a lot for me.

Expectations can build up so much anticipation and excitement.

Expectations can create a false indication of reality.

Expectations can ruin something beautiful in my life.

And, that my friends, is where I am at this very moment in time.

My expectations have let me down.

But what have been my expectations?

A friend once wrote me a note during a time of despair.  He pointed out that “to hope” means “to expect.”  I guess my pal Webster defined it.  I started to understand the definition a bit more as my friend led me through a spiritual trek in the Bible that landed me smack dab in Romans 5.  Verse 4 kinda nailed it.

If I am to expect…then I have hope.  If I have hope then I CAN expect to receive God’s love.  It does not disappoint!!!  If you read the first part of chapter 5 you will see words such as tribulation and suffering.

5 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Reading this scripture once again (this is the ONE section of the Bible I thoroughly memorized AND remembered from my college days) has opened my eyes and slowly, slowly my heart.

I am rambling.  By no means am I creating a theological post.  I wouldn’t dare attempt such a feat.  I know little scripture.  I long for the Lord little these days and I am not very intelligent.  My moods often overshadow my thoughts.

I do have expectations.

So if “to hope” means “to expect” then I am ready to embrace #641.

#641  Hope that does not disappoint.

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