Adjustments

We have been back on this side of the world for almost a month now. My daily thoughts and activities have naturally had to drastically shift – which makes Africa seem like years ago. Then there is that longing in my heart to hold my baby Mary, sing “Five Little Ducks” with the 12 girls in Della’s house, and witness the spectacular sunrise from our veranda. Seems like yesterday.

Oh how time plays tricks with my head! And my heart.

Typically as we transition back to the western world, dread and ungratefulness accompanies me. This year has been no different. What has been different is the choice. I always have the choice to happily bloom where I am planted. Although it seems like I am often unrooted and replanted, I still have a choice to thrive and contribute to making my world a more beautiful place.

My struggle once I hit American soil?
Answering the question, “Now what?” The obvious is to enjoy the wee bit of summer remaining with the kiddos and get ready for the new school year. For me, that means attending trainings, working in my classroom, and catching up with friends and family.
School has started and the rush of preparing all things new is slowly decreasing. A routine is settling again and we are back to our busy schedules. “Now what?” is more interesting than ever this year. The husband and I are contemplating and even pursuing a new adventure. We are still seeking peace and guidance but for now we are being obedient.
Curious?
Me too.
Can’t wait to see what God has in store for us.

Next question is, “Why?” I have a young student this year who asks this 1,001 times a day. Seriously. I laugh about it, judging that she is inquisitive. The mother shakes her head begging me to fix it. The truth is I, too, ask why. Maybe it is not in a sweet preschooler tone, but nonetheless I look up to the heavens and ask my Lord, “WHY?”
Why do I invest so much in a third world country then get yanked out of there quicker than a bolt of lightning?
Why do I put forth so much effort into my job and this crazy American life and then also see that come to a screeching halt every year?
Why am I privileged to be born an American?
Why do I fall in love with a 20-month-old African child and then am forced to say goodbye? Why did she wake up the morning following my farewell session and not see her “Auntie Cynthia?”

So….
We are adjusting to being back in our American life. We are adjusting to being obedient to where the Lord places us. We are adjusting to changes in our lives (two kiddos in high school is quite a change). We are adjusting to shifting our hearts to contentment. Well, I am the main one who struggles with that. 🙂

I am grateful that while, as a human, I have to make adjustments to the changes around me, I have a Lord who doesn’t change and guides me to follow HIM. And WHY do I fight the initial adjustment to follow and ultimately TRUST HIM!?!?!

Obviously, I am still adjusting…..

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